Wrap up the last 2 Weeks
In order to clean my slate and be slightly relevant, I figured I’d give half-ass recaps of the movies I’ve seen recently. From here on out, I’ll only review movies as I see them so that I don’t leave any of my brilliant musings out.
Pride and Glory.
You prob don’t remember this movie being out. I saw it and I barely remember it existing. Some good performances by Edward Norton, who continues to be the Kevin Durant of every movie he is in, an awkward drunken speech by jon voight (he bit me!), and colin ferrell nailing the douchebag role, which isn’t really acting, bc colin ferrell really is a douchebag. I think this movie was written the way i did work in college, last minute and 60% complete. Nothing came together.
I am Jack’s 3/10 rated movie.
Quantum of Solace.
Yawn. Who is the bad guy? He’s doing what? Why is he doing that? Stop asking questions! Look at how good I look!! Just another action movie, but this one had a boat load of money and a good brand stamped upon it (I’ll admit it, he did look pretty damn good).
5/10 Hot Eastern European Bond Girls.
Role Models.
Most well rounded comedy I’ve seen in years. Perfectly paced, perfectly casted. David Wain’s and Judd Apatow’s crew have pretty much redefined what a good comedy is the past few years. I’ll forgive Pinapple Express as long as they keep using the same hilarious people to keep playing out pretty good stories. The leads have been great but it’s people like hader, the asian guy, and banks who really keep these movies going bc from character to character there is no let down.
PS. Paul Rudd is the man, Stifler will never get old
7/10 Types of chairs in this room
JCVD
I don’t know if you noticed, but there has been a trend to this sorting, and yes, Jean Claude Van Damme is the best movie on this list. It managed to make VanDamme pathetic in just the right way so that you actually felt sorry for a man that has 3% body fat, could break your neck while lighting an unfiltered cigarette, and has slept with more women than miles I have driven. I give this stellar review in spite of being 5 minutes late, having to sit in the front and being forced to choose between watching the action and reading the giant angled subtitles (never sit in the front of a foreign flick). Mercifully only portions were in french. One more reason to like this movie: the lost art of telling a whole story in 1.5 hrs.
9/10 Sexy dance fights
Coming soon:
Synecdoche, New York (seen it, just have to get in the mind frame for writing about it)
RocknRolla preparedly pessimistic
